Hey look an update! It's like my Halloween candy to you. Go ahead and stuff your face with it. Give it to strangers. Forget about some of it and read it in a year when you're moving furniture.
So with fashion week(s) over, I went to L.A. for the first time to a shoot a Commercial That Shall Not Be Named. Not that I'm trying to compare the commercial to that Voldemort guy or anything, because everybody who worked on it was actually super friendly and had noses. Nor was it anything embarrassing, like a commercial for dildos or something. Though I'm not sure I've ever seen a commercial for dildos, and regardless that's probably something another board would handle.
But it was lots of fun, I took lots of pictures (by my standards), and I came away learning lots of things about the city, like...
1.) It's more spread out than a model's legs in a dildo commercial. I had a rental car, but Google Maps made the place look endearingly walkable. And while it's ten times more beautiful to walk than drive-- and ten times more conducive to random picture-taking-- it's also ten times more depressing when you realize it's an hour to get back to your hotel after picking up your Pink's hot dogs. (Which was just on America's Next Top Model by the way, I should've signed a photo for them too.)
2.) I think it may be required to have a dog to live here. Every single person was walking a dog.
Every single person. The homeless people might've been made homeless only because they didn't have a dog. That or they were just stoners and I couldn't tell the difference.
3.) There's a thing called the marine layer, which to scientists means cool air is getting trapped in a dense mass, and to newspeople means foggy driving conditions, and to me means my fucking day at Venice Beach will end in seeing very little of the Pacific Ocean, and even less of the hot bikini-clad California girls that supposedly inhabit this part of the Pacific Ocean.
4.) Food trays during a film production are, like at certain fashion editorial shoots, FUCKING DELICIOUS. For lunch I had steak and salmon. BOTH.
Together. Like I was the fucking king of a small African country or something.
5.) Lots of people warned that the folks in L.A. are superficial. But everybody was real nice. Wait,
where have I heard that before...
Anyway, here are some pictures. If you're turned off by stupid captions, just go ahead and stop reading now. If you're turned
on by stupid captions, why the fuck are you not Direct Messaging me on Twitter right now?!
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| This person is either very important or a hobbit. |
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| Conan goes back to NYC as I arrive. CONAN STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM ME |
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| Don't fuck with the Fresh Prince. |
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| I wanted a picture of this Hollywood street sign and I think these random people posed for me. |
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| It's funny cause it's out of focus. |
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| He was clearly wearing cowboy boots but I'm choosing to pretend he just had weird tiny feet. |
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| The cement was actually hard when he did this. |
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| Darth Vader. Catching the bus. |
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| lol. |
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| Picture in the Pacific Ocean of my feet/my dick. |
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| I thought about going swimming, then I thought about not dying. |
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| I'm pretty sure at one point this was my dream job. |
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Speaking of dreams, this was supposed to be populated with the kind of girls sung about
in Beach Boys songs. Letdown. |
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I gave him $2 for the picture.
(And yes that's my foot mock kicking his ass) |
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This guy had a guitar and amplifier on roller skates, and really I was just
curious how he went to the bathroom. |
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This guy stopped working out once he realized I was taking a picture of him.
It's out of focus because I was afraid he was going to rip my face off. |
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| I don't know if the Marc Jacobs out here was set up for Halloween or just fucking creepy. |
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I first read this as "Milkshake" and "Mouth," which would have totally been
the best gang ever. |
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| The view from the L.A. agency. Complete with giant crazy lady billboard. |
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You now have the Beverly Hills Cop theme stuck in your head.
(Or that Weezer song.) |
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| The car made it look like a misplaced Micro-Machine next to a Barbie Playhouse. |
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| Rodeo Drive, aka 5th Avenue with palm trees. |
So those were my adventures. Though in the interest of full disclosure, I named this post after the Tupac song, but I did not go anywhere the fuck near Compton.
